Sunday, October 4, 2009

Fear and loathing in Salt Lake City...

I am so afraid, still, that the cancer did not cure my Cushing's. I know some people say they can see changes in me - my face or skin color - but I don't really. I keep taking pictures and trying to compare them, but I only see little tiny changes and can't confirm whether or not they have anything to do with my surgery.

I do feel better. Does that count as a change in the right direction when it comes to Cushing's? Obviously it is heading in the right direction overall. I just want to know I am on the recovery side of everything.

My doctor, a Neuro-Endocrinologist from UCLA, emailed me on Friday to see how I was. He asked me about some tests on the tumor. I didn't know what he was talking about, so I hope the surgeon here asked for that test to be done. I don't know. I've kind of kept away from anything relating to the surgery or my illnesses unless I absolutely needed to.

Remember, I hate needles. Still.

On Tuesday October 13th I have to go and see the endocrinologist here to start testing for Cushing's again. More blood, urine, saliva tests. I just want it to be over.

I fear the possibility of still having Cushing's. I loathe needles and tests. Thus, the fear and loathing...

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