Wednesday, November 4, 2009

A Boxing Match

I realized this morning on my way into work what it really means to fight an illness. It is more than the medicine and treatments to resolve the physical illness. It is also the mental and internal strength of the individual to see a future without the illness and combat the side effects of the medicines, treatments, and illness itself.

I'm not as strong as I may have seemed or have been in the past. I have fear and I cry and I feel sorry for myself sometimes. I hate needles. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I am embarrassed about my body and what I look like. I feel self conscious when I eat in restaurants, like people are thinking I don't need to be eating food. I worry about my diabetes and high blood pressure - worried that I have had it longer than I thought I would and don't know if it is having other effects on me that will stick around after I get rid of the Cushing's.

With all of these added stresses, I still look forward. I look forward to my life goals. Until someone tells me I can't, I will continue to do so. This Cushing's syndrome will not get the best of me. I will combat it until it is gone, no matter how long it takes.

I will be my own superhero. I will save my own life.

No comments:

Post a Comment