Monday, January 11, 2010

Blink. Soon it will be all over with.

I'm awake at 3 a.m. My day will officially begin in about 3 and a half hours. I'll go get yet another x-ray of my chest. My surgeon will look at my beautiful incision and say "looks good!" I'll drive my beautiful car to work and park in my spot that is always assuredly there waiting for me to arrive. I'll take that walk to the Aline Wilmot Skaggs Biology Building that should normally take about five minutes, but will hopefully in my case take ten minutes if I am lucky.

It's the first day of school for the semester and the lobby will most likely be crowded with biology and pre (insert the profession of any applied science here) students wandering around or sitting in the window seats. The confusion and loud talk will be a great disguise to my entry into the building and short walk to the elevator. Up to the top! The fifth floor of a four floor building is where my destination is. Down at the end of the hall, room 522.

Hopefully my only two plants aren't dead. Not that I could had promised them a whole lot more if I had been there over the last month to water them. My thumb is kind of mossy-brown, like a slow killer of all things green. I keep 'em alive just enough to make them think they've got a chance.

I don't want to think about seeing everyone in the lab just yet. It will happen and I'll tell my story a few times. It will be good to see everyone. I'll hang my coat on my coat hanger, put my lunch in the fridge just outside my office door. My chair. My lovely chair will be waiting for me. It will be good.

Then, class. Oh my gosh! Class. Yes. I have class today. Like I said, school starts today and that is no exception for me. This is it! I'm starting my last semester at the U. I always thought it would feel different. Be - well... I don't know. Maybe it isn't different. I mean. I'm still extremely excited about it! I'm really looking forward to the classes I'm taking. Today? Advanced American National Government with Dr. Benedict in Orson Spencer Hall. Lunchtime every MWF. I've been waiting to take this class, hoping it would eventually fit into my schedule. Yay!

Then back to the office, finally starting to do some real work. Organizing myself. Looking at my many projects and the programs we are trying to get off the ground. It will be very exciting! I really do enjoy my job. I really, really (can I use that word too much in one post?) love the people I work with and for. I could not ask for a better bunch of human beings to regularly associate myself with on a professional or personal level.

At 6 p.m. I will take that walk to the elevator, then to my car. I will sit in wonderment for a few minutes about what just happened. Is the day over with already? Did I really do it? All of that worry I had this morning at 3 a.m. - was it really worth it? No. No it wasn't. Now I get to go to dinner with my family as our regular tradition (and Lamb's downtown) expects. I'll talk to my family, who will eventually get there, and we'll go over our individual days with each other. Comfort. Tradition. In my world right now, this is what I need. Some kind of predictability. Simple expectations.

So. No. It was totally unnecessary for me to worry about how the day would turn out. If I would be able to do it. Clearly I just did! I did it! I conquered my fears and it all turned out just fine. In about 25 minutes, I was able to do it all - just as though I blinked and it was all over with. Now I'll go back to bed feeling accomplished, as though I've already done all this and it's no big deal at all. Good night...


  1. I hope it all turned out as planned.

  2. Thank you Judy! It did. Not everything does, as you know, so this was a good day!